Friday, November 28, 2008

Amongst the dumbest inventions

I have on my desk, as I type, one of THE dumbest inventions I have ever come across.

It's a pencil - seems harmless enough - but this particular pencil has a soft rubber casing. The casing (usually the wooden part, or hard plastic) is flexible. You can bend it into the letter "O" its so flexible.

How ... you may ask .... does the lead work if the casing is so flexible.

Well ... I answer you .... because the lead is also equally flexible AND it doesn't break.

AMAZING! You might exclaim ...

However, if you are lucky enough to get the flexible plastic and lead to sharpen (this took a great deal of tongue-gripped-between-teeth action) your first attempt to actually write with it is .... lets just say ..... too pliant for prose. With your inability to give proper grasp and grip to the tool your work quickly diminishes to a style not unlike that of a 4 year old.

And all of that without the lead breaking!

Whomever thought this was a brilliant idea that had to be patented and sold - - needs to write all his documents with his own invention.

I may keep it around as a joke, or I may pass it along to some other chump. OR .... who amongst you might want this for your expanding pencil collection? I will gladly mail it off to the first to respond with their desire.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

100 things about me - only - not really

Enough of that face already!!

I love being busy at work, but I rarely seem able to come up for air these days. I'm not sure why. But its all good. I'm just sorry I haven't been faithful with updating.

I'm started a list of 100 things about me, but I'm only at #25. Here's the start of the list:

1. I am the youngest of three children
2. The only daughter
3. 12 & 14 years younger than my bros
4. I’m married
5. And this didn’t happen until I was 40
6. And he is the youngest of three
7. And the only boy (although these are in fact about him not me)
8. My hobby are paper crafts, reading, blogging
9. Although at present I’m slightly addicted to doing Sudoku’s
10. Our house is a very, very fine house
11. With two cats in the yard (on the couch actually)(Digit and Pirate)
12. I have lived in three provinces in Canada – Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia
13. I have blue eyes (and I admit that I been a little prideful of them)
14. I want to learn to drive a motorcycle before my 50th birthday
15. But I don’t want a motorcycle. I want a high end scooter that is higher than 50 cc’s.
16. I have a sarcastic sense of humour which has got me into trouble on occasion.
17. I’ve never missed a season of “Survivor”
18. When I was 16 I competed in Rodeo’s
19. When I was 17 I ran for and won being “Rodeo Queen” for my small town in Alberta.
20. I’m a high school graduate, but that’s it. I’ve yet to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
21. I’ve never had the Measles. I did get the Mumps when I was 6 or 7, and didn’t catch chicken pox until I was 17. I really missed the bus on the childhood diseases.
22. When I was a kid I thought that if you sold your house, you just switched houses with whomever bought your house.
23. I sometimes sleepwalk. I’ve woken up with the strangest assortment of clothes on at times.
24. I also dreamwake. I’m dreaming, my eyes are open and my bedroom is half real and half dream, but I can’t wake up. Only I know I’m dreaming too. Weird.
25. Four years ago I fell off my shoes and broke my foot, and that’s the only bone that I’ve ever broken.

I never realized how hard it was to come up with 100 things. Maybe I'm trying to hard, maybe not hard enough. Is this what you sick people come here for? :-)


Friday, November 14, 2008

You Asked For It!

Or at least some of you did.

Me in my ears!

I bet you're sorry you asked.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Something I Said I Woul Never Do

There were a number of firsts for us this holiday. It was a first to visit Florida (and it stands to reason - a first for Disney World). A first for flying with the hubby (in an airplane that is). A first time at a water-slide park. And so on ...

One particular 1st that comes to mind is something I swore I would never, ever, ever do! and it has to do with the Water Park. At Disney World there are two water parks to partake in (at an additional cost - of course) however, during the time of our visit only one of the water parks were open. "Typhoon Lagoon" was wonderful. Even in October the Florida weather is warm enough for Canadian hicks like us to enjoy a day at the beach (so-to-speak). You can drift lazily around the park on inner tubes, or slide down a three story enema inducing drop (if you don't cross your legs just right); or experience a minor typhoon-like hit from a giant wave. This last one was a lot of fun, but don't go thinking that sitting in the shallow end will lesson the impact. Just ask my husband, but that's another story.

Which all brings me back to another 1st, and something I vowed strongly to never do, and will never do (except under duress) again!

What? might you ask would I feel so strongly about ....

The change room / bathrooms & lockers are slightly away from the water area. So one must change then lock up their belonging - including all foot gear - before beginning ones drenching adventures.

We changed, rented a locker and headed on in. The lazy, lounging, wet, river around the park was the best way to relax and see things. Then we began to inspect and partake in some of the sliding action going on. Wet, wild fun!

Nature will have its way with our bodies, and it was time for a quick snack and potty break.

Think about this .... you and several hundred others are wet and dripping - without towels (for the most part) and without foot coverings of any kinds - all traipsing around and some - like us - need to use the loo. There are very few things that gross me out more than carpeted bathroom floors or having to walk into a public bathroom in my bare feet.

(side note: there were no carpeted bathroom floors involved in this particular story. It is just a generalized statement of YUK!)

One of these two things I had to confront and face head on. "Head On - apply directly to the forehead".

Sorry - I digress.

The mere thought of having to walk into that public bathroom toilet cubicle brings a grimace to my face. I was hard pressed to stay on my tippy toes enough to keep my feet away from making contact with the floor in front of the toilet - let alone not allow my tush to sit down. Hovering just over the seat in a public bathroom is a long practiced event for many years now. But the combination of the two actions was greater than I could bear. My disgust was at an all time high.

Directly outside of the bathrooms was a foot wash fountain, but this did very little to calm my heebeejeebee's. I did however, live to tell the tale.

It will be a frosty day in hell before this kind of situation occurs again.

On a level of 'must do again at any price' vs. 'won't catch me dead doing that' this experience set the bar on the adverse end. A very close third or fourth place winner is the 30 minutes of my life I will never get back from waiting in line and riding "It's A Small World After All" under duress. A vow I broke, against my better judgment, on this holiday.

And there lies another scary tale from "Disney World Adventures 2008" for your reading pleasure.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Disney World observations

You know the expression "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", well I've come to understand the same basic principle also applies to DisneyWorld.

What is in context in DisneyWorld, must stay in DisneyWorld

Inside the fantasy of Disneyworld, a 300 lbs woman with a tight pink t-shirt with the words "Princess" stretch across her massive tracts of land, is perfectly at home and acceptable within the gates. Once out of those gates ... well lets just say it loses a little of its lustre.

The same can be said for "Mickey" ears. You have a sense of "gotta have" while there. Be in on the fun. Would you wear those ears once home in your own Postal Code? For the most part, that is. In an effort to bolster my excitement about going a fellow co-worker, who was almost jealous for me, brought in his previously earned Mickey ears to the office the day before I left - to get me in the right frame of mind. In that instance it didn't seem completely out of place.

All this to say that I was constantly confronted with what was deemed acceptable within and without the walls of the happiest place on earth.

We really did have a fantastic time. And - yes - we did come home with our own set of mouse ears. We were going to buy some, but were given each a pair after riding one particular ride. Whewww Whooo!! I wore my for the rest of that day, but only within context.

This is us on the first day waiting for our shuttle to take us on a new adventure. (Pre-ears)

There will be more stories to come. I'm sorry its taken me so long to update. I only took two weeks off, but I feel like I'm backlogged beyond comprehension. It's all good, and I have more to share with you all.