Enough!!!

I will not continue to wallow in .... anything. Enough. I will write only positive, uplifting, happy experiences here!

Well, at least I'll try my darndest, to live life on the bright side! No one wants to hear about sadness and grief - least of all me.

So ... on that note: today we get to play a game - Guess that picture. I did take my camera to Pender on the weekend (see my Flickr account for updated photo's), and one particular shot was kinda fun. I'd like to see if you folks can guess what I did - and - no - its not a double exposure.

A prize (of some yet undetermined kind) will be awarded to the winner!

The Weekend That Wasn't

… or at least that’s how it felt.

Saturday morning saw me getting up bright and early. One of the disadvantages of living on an island is that if you wish to travel off of the island, you need to be on “Ferry time”. And in particular when you’re traveling from one island to another (smaller) island – your “Ferry time” choices are a greater challenge.

All that to say that for me to make it to a noon funeral on Pender Island I needed to catch the 9:30am ferry from Victoria. If you know me at all you’d know that I rarely see the light of day by 9am on a Saturday morning, let alone be up and out at the Ferry Terminal by then.

I digress … as mentioned in the previous entry this was the funeral for my best friends mom, and Theresa was also a very good friend to me as well. Wild horses could not have kept me from being at her service, even as the pain of it was almost as strong as the grief I felt for my own mothers passing. Standing at her (Theresa’s) graveside service I had flashbacks to just 8 months ago and my mother’s (and father’s) graveside, to say goodbye.

I will miss Theresa very much, and I doubt that visiting Pender Island will ever feel the same for me, but I do have many fond memories, and will continue to visit my girlfriend and her family there. I am hoping to go over and stay with my friend for a few days in July. She will probably be in a bit of a daze, but we will be able to commiserate together, and relish the bond that is between us.

On to other things - - the weather is getting nicer and nicer and I am more inclined to be getting outside and enjoy it.

I really don’t know how to end this entry; I’m tired, and far to retrospective today. A bonus for this particular Monday is that I have a date with my psychologist today – lucky her.

;-) LJ

Life

I’m sorry to admit that I’ve been in a kind of a weird funk this week, hence the reason for not updating. We had a lovely quiet long weekend, but it ended on a sad note. I got a call from my best friend, and her mother passed away on Sunday. Mom T had been diagnosed with cancer (two kinds), and emphysema in the latter part of January of this year – four months later she’s gone.

I grieve for my girlfriend and her family. I knew this woman quite well, and will miss her terribly. I am just so tired of grieving the loss of my friend parents.

I sat down on Tuesday and wrote a list of all the people that are around me who have lost a parent, or Grandparent since my mom passed away in August. Can you guess the number I came up with? 20! That isn’t including the 7 other people from my church community who passed away that were friends or acquaintances.

I know it sounds morbid to sit down and create such a list, but I wanted to try to pinpoint some of the heaviness that I’ve been feeling. Once I’d actually began to analyze the list, a little light bulb flashed in my brain and gave great explanation into my heart and the sorrow felt.

Some of these passings are joyous reunion’s with our Lord, but some – like my mom – are not, and I wonder if I couldn’t have done more, said more, acted more. But I can’t go there right now.

So here I sit knowing that life is a cycle. Death is a guaranteed thing. But does it always have to hit so close to home and for so many? Can’t we just string them out a little further apart? Can I stop grieving for just one moment?

Who will be next?

Fridays Feast

Appetizer
List 3 emotions you experienced this week.
Grief, denial (is denial an emotion, or a state of mind?), and exhaustion (this IS an emotional state of my mind).

Soup
Name a car you’d love to have.
Any Jaguar from the 60’s or 70’s

Salad Describe your typical morning routine.
Wake up just moments before alarm goes off. Hit snooze as soon as possible, and lay there for “just a few minutes more”. Trundle blindly down to the bathroom (alternate mornings involve a shower), then into the kitchen to pour a large cup of coffee. Kiss hubby Good Morning, and head off to my niche room for some one-on-one time with God. Get dressed, kiss hubby good-bye, and walk across the parking lot to work.

I could continue because my life is all about routine ….. but I won’t.

Main Course Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply?
No

Dessert Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?
No. But I did visit a “Torrent site” and download a TV episode of Gilmore Girls that I’d missed. Couldn’t believe it took 4 hours to download, and the show was less than 45 minutes (without commercials).

Can I Please ..... ! ? !

This is how I want to learn to ride a motorcycle. But somehow .... I don't think the hubby would approve. It's not how a motorcycle should be treated.

As seen on Break.com

Burning Issues

I have what I think, is an oddity to put before you today.

I've Googled it (I Google everything), but haven't really come up with any answers.

Every night, say after 8pm, my feet begin to get intensely hot. So hot that I can't tolerate slippers, or socks, human touch, or even the sheets (once I've gone to bed). It's a given that the rest of me will be all cozy and snuggled under the covers, but you will most definitely find my feet poking out and on top of the cool comforter. On rare occasions this infusion of heat will take over the rest of my body as well, but this doesn't happen often.

Do any of you ever get that?

+++++++++++++

On a different note: I survived Mother's Day. It was a day full of mixed feelings for me. We traveled up island to surprise my Mother-In-Law with a visit. But my thoughts constantly came back to my own Mom. She's been gone for eight and a half months now. I can hardly believe it. I have those moments when I just want to hear her voice one more time, but then I realize she would probably only talk about the weather anyway. I miss her, and this Mother's Day was particularly poignant for me. It will begin to get easier.

Nuf' said. I did better when I talked about having hot feet. So I'll leave it at that!

I'm beginning to get the hang of things over here at Blogger. It is quite safe to say we're in the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship.

You may see that I've managed to add a Blogroll on the side, and if you don't see you're site there and would like to be listed (I'd love to add you) please drop me a comment (with your link) and let me know. There are some people over on Diaryland that I'd like to add, but I don't know if I have your permission.

So ... anyway ..... it's SATURDAY!!!! I can't believe it, but I slept in until 10:30 this morning. That might sound a little extreme, but keep in mind I didn't fall asleep until well after one this morning, and sleep has not been my friend lately. I feel good, and that's what matters the most.

I absolutely HAVE to muster up some creativity today! I made a list of all the cards I need to make, the lease of which is a Mother's Day card for my Out-Law, and a birthday card for my hubby (for Monday). There are just a few people who I feel might not be happy with me if I didn't make a card for them. Those being among the top two on my list. Thankfully I've seen some cool, inspirational crafting magazines lately and I'm willing to give it a try.

The procrastinator in me is really wanting to go outside and be in the sun and warmth, which has finally decided to come to the west coast.

But duty calls.

I'll let you know how that all goes down!

Have a great Saturday!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer

Tell about a time when you had to be brave.

A myriad of moments of big and little bravery’s, but the first one that came to my mind was when I was around 5 or 6 years old. We spent out summers in Southampton, Ontario on Lake Huron, and for the most part – that time was spent on the beach. There was a jetty that went out a fair ways; one side was the calm side and the other side tended to be a bit breezy and a bit rougher. This one particular day the ‘calm’ said was a little more windy than normal, and I found myself swimming very close to the jetty. The undertow was very strong and my wee body was being pulled out into deeper water, and a little close to the jetty for my comfort. My very imaginative young brain could picture all manner of sea creature living in the jetty just waiting for a mid day snack on a little blond haired, blue eyed girl. My tiny tippy toes were quickly loosing ground, and my shouts for help becoming water slogged. In my mind I knew I had to be brave, and that someone would hear/see me. They did, and swam out (although given my height I suspect they only needed to walk to me) and rescued me. After that incident I became to become more tadpole than princess.

Soup

Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing?

“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”! Nuf’ said!

Salad

Name an item you try to always have on hand.

Hand lotion. Not life saving, but it is hand softening.

Main Course

Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it!

I’ve dreamt about this room for years. In essence it would be a glorified library; wall-to-wall shelves full of books, big sunny windows and several comfy chairs, and a soft luxurious couch. A fireplace against one wall, so that in colder winter nights you can curl up and be warm and cozy. It would feel small and intimate when I wanted to be quiet and alone, yet inviting enough for friends to drop by and feel at home. Ahhhh, but my mind relaxed just at the thought.

Dessert

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you?

I consider “Spiritual” and “Religious” to be almost two different things. So for this purpose I will separate them. Regarding “Spiritual “ on a scale of 1-10 I would consider myself to be a 9. For “Religious” I would count myself in a pseudo 3 position.

Discussing the differences between Spiritual and Religious is a topic for another day.

Learning Curves R Us

We have been experiencing a major regroup on staff at church. Last month I was acclimatizing myself to being out at Reception. I don't 'do' Reception well, I prefer to put my head down and barrell through my work. Being on Reception is far from that.

This month the learning curve is being stretched to include the bookkeepping. This is a far more foreign concept for me, but I do enjoy numbers. Today was my first try at testing the water while balancing all the other duties on my plate.

At about 10 am - I was ready to strangle someone. My bad - my lack of patience. I need not reiterate my ability to multi-task, but when I need to multi-task AND learn a new skill ..... its not a pretty site. I have much sympathy for our poor Bookkeeper Jan whose trying to teach me. She deserve extra jewels in her crown in heaven

I will survive this, and I will live on in infamy! I will not be undone by math!!!

I'm exhausted tonight and would like nothing better than a hot bath and early bed.

Alas, we have committments and must go out. Onwards and upwards!

7 Things About Me I hope you never knew before

Both Are we there yet? and Pilot Mom did this meme, so I'm playing along as well.

This is kind of cheating because I’m not really known on Blogspot. I could name stuff that I have written (elsewhere) and you really wouldn’t know . . .. teehee!

1) In high school I was never part of the “In” crowd, or the “Trendy” group (which felt weird at the time, but I am thankful for now). However, in 1979 when I was 17 I ran for Rodeo Queen - - - and won! The down side of getting old and realizing just how long ago that was is to visit this small town’s museum now, and see my bio listed in the town’s Rodeo history.

2) In the 80’s I had a very serious crush on “Carmen” the Christian singer. So much of a crush that I dreamt about him every night. I went to a concert of Carmen’s in Vancouver with a friend, and he was doing a CD signing thing at a local bookstore. I was so speechless that not only could I NOT get in line to get his autograph, but I hovered around the back of him and stared. I was extremely embarrassed when he turned around and caught me.

3) I am the youngest of three kids. I have two much bigger, much older brothers. They are 12 and 14 years older than me, and we came from the same parents. I have a picture of my oldest brother and me; it was my first day of Kindergarten and his first day of College. This age difference has always made me feel a little special and a little strange.

4) My husbands and my very first kiss, and I mean very first kiss, was at out wedding ceremony just after we’d signed the registry and our Pastor introduced us as Mr. And Mrs. Mugwhump. Can you believe that we dated for 7 months, were engaged for another 6 months and never once kissed? Talk about an overload of sensations on a wedding day.

5) I am a game fanatic. I absolutely LOVE old-fashioned pin-ball. But these games are hard to find. In the meantime – both my and myself can often been found glued to our TV playing Nintendo GameCube, and we each have our own Gameboy DS. I believe this is one of the reasons that God had decided not to give us children. We wouldn’t want them to play with our toys.

6) The smell of horse manure gives me great comfort, and reminds me of my days on the farm.

7) I’m running out of ideas here, so my last “little known fact” is that I am a huge Gilmore Girls TV show. Tonight and next Tuesday are the final two episodes EVER. I am so sad, and next week I will be grieving. Which seems extreme, but I’ve enjoyed this show since day one seven years ago.

That ends my list of 7 things. I won't tag anyone this time, but I'd love it if you played along. Just drop me a line, and I'll come by and check out your 7 things.

I am a multi-tasker, darn it!

...... but ..... I think that I reached my limits when:

I started to brush my teeth.
I wandered into the kitchen to set up the morning coffee.
All the while - with tooth brush still in mouth, occasionally reaching the brush for another swish .... swish.
I fill coffee thermos with water to fill the coffee maker reservoir. Pull out and empty old used filter, replace filter.
Still all the while occasional brushings.
Grind and measure out coffee.
Begin to clean up dishes and pots from dinner and around the sink.
Realize I really have to pee, but don't stop what I'm doing in order to do so.
Cross legs and continue tidying, brushing, setting up coffee.

Until I can stand it no longer. Two things are coming to a fast and needful head. I stop what I'm doing and hop back to the bathroom to spit, and .... well ..... you know.

Do you think this makes me a failure as a multi-tasker?? Or someone who has a problem with her own boundaries?

Starting Fresh

Greetings!!! I've been with Diaryland for years, but recently - they won't give me access to my account to update - unless I pay cold, hard cash and become a Gold Member. What's the deal with that? I've been posting there for over three years now, paid my money for one year, and now they dis me like this.

I thumb my nose at them, and move my measly writings over here. I certainly don't promise you much, but I need an avenue to vent, or laugh, or cry or just plain write my life's story out on. I chose here.

If you've fumbled upon me and want to play catch up - while they let you - you can read all about me over at http://mugwhump.diaryland.com.

Or at least until I figure out what I've got going on here.

Blessings,
LJ