Be warned - I'm ranting!

I am so thankful its Friday today. I feel like someone has beat me over with an ugly stick this week - from all sides. We all have days and weeks like this, I guess it was just my turn.

Does anyone watch "the Office"? I can't quite relate to all that goes on there, but I can relate to working with 'odd' people. I'm sure at many times I'm one of them. There is one person in particular in my office (and I've written about him before) who seems to know just how to hit all my buttons. This is also the one person who I have to share the most office hours with.

This week however, I had the misfortune pleasure of a road trip with him. I am the only person in the office that has a credit card and Costco membership for the office. And said 'him' wanted to purchase some tables. I don't have a vehicle so I had to travel with him, and not having a vehicle of my own also put me at his time scheduling. Being at his scheduling meant being away over lunch. Being away over lunch meant having to eat lunch out with him. Eating out with him means having to be in his presence while he snorffulls down his food.

"Snorfful" in this example translates to: eating with ones mouth open, smacking lips repeatedly and often.

It's bad enough when he does it in the privacy (HA!) of his cubicle, but to do it in public ..... my stomach turns. I must confess at this point that this style of eating also drives me crazy when dogs do it, but I forgive dogs because they don't know any better.

Another complaint I had from this outing was that also accompanying him and me was our hard working, sweet hearted, head custodian. However, the combination of the two of them was like eating out with teenage boys. The bawdy, childlike antic of two grown men (both older than me) was more than I could handle, yet I held my tongue.

To be fair - it doesn't matter what 'him' does, it will irk me to the core. The man just plain rubs me the wrong way - how he says 'good morning' (usually done is some Italian accent or silly voice), how I hear him talk to his wife, daughter, or dogs on the phone (usually baby talk, in a high pitched sickly cooey voice), how he stands at my reception desk and leers down my blouse top and has conversations with my breasts not my eyes, how he rushes around the office complaining that he can never get anything done because people keep interrupting him (yet he's the first one to repeatedly interrupt your work to tell you a story you've either heard him tell dozens of times before, or has no point to begin with).

I must stop here. It's Friday, I'm tired, and I'm finding it way to easy to rant. I know that I'm can't be an easy person to work with at times. (Actually I'm sure I'm a complete angelic wonder to work with - everyone tells me so!)

But I must admit .... I'm feeling better now. I've gotten off my chest the things that are laying heavy and angst ridden, and I can now move onwards and forward into my weekend. There are bigger problems in the world the fellow co-workers that bug the piss out of you.

Can I get an Amen!

A note of correction from Rebecca G

If you haven't read my previous post, please do that before reading this one.

I received this comment on my old blog from Rebecca.

It's Becka, I couldn't leave a message in your journal for some reason. First of all thank you for the kind thoughts and prayers for my boy. I just wanted to clear up something about this woman, the boys were actually walking along a footpath not on the side of the road, the woman didn't try to miss a pole, she drove straight into a street pole/sign, then into a pile of rubbish that was out for council collection day on the footpath.. then ploughed into the boys...

We are not 100 percent sure but it seems the boys were trying to run from her car, the only way was back the way they had come as there was a 6 ft high house fence on one side of them and the road on the other, their body imprints are on the bonnet and windscreen and big dents on the top of her are from where there heads hit..the police are not sure but it is thought she was doing 80 - 90 km an hour which is between 20 and 30 km over the speed limit, the road was completely straight that she was driving on..she did not try to stop, she did not attempt to brake, there are no skid marks, she just continued driving until she ploughed into them then she drove back off the footpath and around a corner to a carpark then came back and attempted to give Jye CPR, she then bragged to others that she had given CPR, as she was being taken away in the police car she waved and smiled to the media and in court the next day she giggled and laughed and blew kisses to her husband.

She was also unlicensed. Her lawyer is trying to plead insanity, at this stage she is being charged for dangerous driving causing death, 2 charges plus driving without a license, i have heard that it is possible the charges may be changed to manslaughter..thats up to the public prosecutor..I pray to god so many times during the day that they did not actually see her coming and that if in fact they did then it was too fast for their brains to register what was happening..i hate the thought that they did see her coming and were running..this pain is just too much to bear.

Please continue to pray for Rebecca. She is a sweet, sweet woman and I feel so helpless to be of any aid to her.

A small blogging world

The blogging world is a small place when you really come down to it. Personally, I've met some very cool, very wonderful people, and many of them I would consider friends that I would gladly hang out with.

So, when one of my blogging friends hurts - I hurt with them. Such is the case of my friend Rebecca G (she's on my blog roll, but locked) from Australia. I wasn't able to get into her blog starting a couple of weeks ago, but put it down to "movin' on" as often happens in our blogging world. When out of the blue her little Gmail chat bubble popped up with a "Hey LJ". I was delighted that she's dropped in, and proceeded to ask how she was doing.

As it turns out - the reason for her locked blog is that her 15 year old son was killed in a car accident on February 7th. He and a buddy were walking on the side of the road when a prescription drug filled woman 'thought' she was driving straight on the road, was trying to miss a pole, and mowed down the boy and he friend (according to her testimony to the media). Their bodies were thrown some 70 meters (229 feet or 76 yards) from the point of impact to where their bodies landed. The friend died at the scene, and Rebecca's son was on life support for three days before passing.

Needless to say Rebecca is devastated. Her pain, frustration, anger, and grieving are very evident in her writing. She is a single mom, and this is the oldest of her three sons. My heart is broken for her, and I cannot comprehend what she must be going through. A tragic tragic loss!

So if you remember in your quiet moments, could you think of Rebecca and her family at this time. I know Rebecca only from her blog, but feel very helpless in how to comfort her. All I can do is pray, and ask you to join me in that.

Huge Hugs and all my love to you Rebecca!!! God Bless.

Friday's Feast

I had such a great creative weekend last weekend that I think I'm suffering for it all week. And since "Friday's Feast" is a convenient way to fill a spot - may I present you a little taste of me.

Appetizer

Have you ever played a practical joke on anyone? If so, what did you do and who was your victim?
I can remember once when I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6 years old, and I played a practical joke on my mom. We were at our yearly campsite on Lake Huron and I’d found some little rubbery monster – like you stick on the end of a pencil. I took it back to camp, cleaned it off really well and somehow managed to get it to stick to the bottom of my mom’s coffee cup. I served her up her cup of hot coffee, and she proceeded to drink it. I recall her giving a little yelp when she found the creature in her black lagoon, and I recall feeling tickled pink that I’d pulled one over on her.

Looking back – she probably knew what I was up to, also looking back – I had no idea where that rubber creature had been ….

Soup

What do your salt and pepper shakers look like?
Regular Salt and Pepper grinders. Boring.

Salad

Where is the next place you plan to visit (on vacation or business)?
I think the hubby and I are hoping to go to Disneyland in the fall. But secretly I’m hoping that the hubby’s job will send him to the “Home Office” in Grenoble, France ….. He would absolutely HAVE to take me with him (or face the consequences).

Main Course

What kind of lotion or cream do you use to keep your hands from getting too dry?
Just about anything I can get my ‘hands’ on. (pun intended)

Dessert

Make up a dessert, tell us its ingredients, and give it a name.
I can’t think of a thing. Whenever I think of dessert I feel guilty. What’s with that?!!?

Hey Jude!

What can I say?


Asian Baby Sings Hey Jude - Watch more free videos

A Saturday Meme

1. Curse the person who tagged you.

2. Grab the nearest book.

3. Open it to page 123.

4. Find the fifth sentence.

5. Post the next three sentences.

6. Tag five people.

Here Goes:

1. I curse you (with hugs and love) Ms. Violet!.

2. It's Saturday morning, and I'm all comfy in my arm chair. The nearest book is something my husband is reading "The Speed of Trust" by Stephen M.R. Covey.

3. Page 123.

4. 5th sentence found.

5. "A first Stephen grumbled."
(What an utter let down. I was so hoping th find something deeply philosophical, moving, or thought provoking. Alas ... not today)

6. Tag anyone? I have absolutely no idea who even reads here anymore. So anyone who wants to play along - please do so.

How to give a cat or dog a pill

A friend of mine sent me this fine Friday chuckle, and I had to share it. If you’ve ever owned a cat or dog you’ll probably understand this loud and clear.


How To Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call souse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap

13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.


How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air

I have no words

The grass isn't always greener on the married side of the fence.


Love Hurts - Watch more free videos

They should call them Regressive lenses

I started my usual evening shut down rituals - logging off computers, switching phone to night answer, check in / out board for staff, closing doors, turning off lights .... and I went home for the evening.

I got home and found that I'd locked one of my poor cats in the bathroom for the afternoon. Both of our cats drink out of the bathroom sink - long story. An our young kitten Pirate likes to terrorize our older cat Digit - particularly when she's drinking water from the sink. So, with the best of intentions I thought I would give Digit a little extra peace and quiet and shut her into the bathroom for a few minutes before I went back to work after lunch.

Needless to say, Pirate was quite anxious and talkative when I got home at 4:45 tonight. He kept pacing and trying to lead me to the bathroom. Finally when I clued in, I realized that I had left Digit in the bathroom for the entire afternoon. She was most perturbed, and left me with some extra special gifts.

I cleaned up the 'gift' and gave her much reassurance of my stupidity, apologies, and treats. Then I settled down in the living room to re-group before figuring out what to make for dinner. I turned on the television and was immediately surprised to find the TV scheduling was a little off. Off by an hour actually.

On closer examination of the time ..... the red digital read out was telling me it was 4:10pm, the clock on our fireplace mantle was telling me it was 4:10pm.

OH MY GOODNESS!! I HAD COME HOME EARLY BY AN ENTIRE HOUR, AND I SWEAR I DOUBLE CHECKED ALL THE CLOCKS AT THE OFFICE!!!!

This is when I'm terribly thankful that I live a mere 100 feet from front door to office door, and I scooted my butt back to work to finish up my day.

I'm blaming it on the new glasses. This is day two and I've obviously got a lot of adjusting to do. I wonder why they call them Progressive lenses anyway? Possibly because you move progressively towards early senility.

I'm talkin' about underwear - deal with it!

What's the deal with women's underwear? Who designs this stuff? What's the difference between a G-string and a thong, and why would you wear either one? Who deemed these comfortable? And what is their purpose in life?

These are the questions that are burning away in my brain today. Why ... you may ask? We ... I decided to pimp-up my underwear drawer. Chose new undies that would be more husband-friendly and less tarps-across-America. In essence, something a little more lacey and less cottonelle.

According to Wikipedia underwear were basically invented by men, more than probably only worn by men, and mostly for wrestling (in early Rome and Greece anyway). Women were slower to be allowed to wear such a thing as 'under garments' until the 17th century. But I digress.

I'm given to understand that today we wear underwear for 'protection' and 'cleanliness', and this brings me back to my beginning questions. What kind of 'protection' are you getting from a g-string? How clean can a g-string, or a thong keep your cloths? Can somebody please explain this all to me.

I say "Go Comando or go home!" Easy words to say when I can't even sleep in the nude.

And while I'm at it ..... regarding those panties that ARE bigger than an I-pod Nano, who decided where the 'gusset' should be? They never seem to line up with anything important. Am I missing something here?

Please - ladies - give me your feed back. I'm dieing to know that I'm not the only women out there with these questions on my mind.

Men - if you've actually read this far ..... what do you have to say about this?

P.S. I know the cartoon has nothing to do with the subject matter, but I thought it was mildly amusing given my impassioned entry.

No turning back now

Life as I know it is soon to be over.

I went for my once-every-two-years eye exam today. The good news is I still have eyes. The bad news is I've made the leap off the aging slide and I now need "progressive power lenses", "graduated lenses", "varifocal lenses", or more commonly known as "tri-focals". I always thought this option was for the elderly, not the recently young no where near elderly folks.

Thats it. My days are numbered. The next step can only mean a walker, or worse yet - the motorized chair.

On the upside - shopping for glasses can be .... fun and funky!!

I'll post a picture when I get them.