Adjusting to a Change of Pace

I know many of you think I'm pretty whacked, and I think this may confirm it.

I married late in life, and lived alone for the fast majority of those unmarried adult years. I enjoyed living alone (most of the time). My first year of marriage was a real challenge for getting used to someone else being in 'my' home, even though this room-mate was for all the right reasons.

One of the other adjustments I made was settling down into a less than "social" life because my husband is very introverted. VERY! He's often told me he would like to like in a cave, far far from everyone - except me. That's pretty introverted. So it took me a few years to begin to rebuild relationships and patterns and feeding the part of me the needs my friends and social.

So I've take very proud moments of deciding "yes, I will go out tonight and hang with .... (insert friends name)".

Here's where I prove myself quite whack - this morning at 6:45am AND a Sunday, I got up so that I could take my wonderful hubby to the airport. He's off to Tennessee for a week of business. Here I am now, sitting at home, in my living room luxuriating in the .... silence. The aloneness.

I love my aloneness. I love having the house to myself. I love my husband, and will miss him .... tomorrow. But right now - I'm lovin' having the house all to myself.

And yet you would think that I would be revelling with the opportunity of connecting with friends and having them over. Or because I have no one waiting for me at home - creating coffee dates out.

I'm torn, but my inner introvert is enjoying the moment, and for now - maybe just tonight I will obey my quieter self.

One drawback to the silence - my tinnitus is loud and clear. No rest for the wicked, but then again, I don't have to share the bed tonight. :-)