The older I get the more I come kicking and screaming into the Christmas season. I was thinking my approach to Christmas is much like the five stages of Grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The only difference being that I tend to miss anger and bargaining, and then acceptance comes on Boxing Day and by then its too late.
So I settle for 'ambivalence'. (am⋅biv⋅a⋅lence - noun - 1. uncertainty or fluctuation, esp. when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things. 2. Psychology. the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.)
My husband said to me yesterday that he thinks he figured me out regarding Christmas. That I am in a state of inconclusiveness regarding Christmas, until I don't get my way. Then I'm just difficult.
What does that say about me? Don't answer that.
This year is no exception. I feel very blah about it, and am not very keen to "play in all the reindeer games". Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike Christmas. I'm not a bah-humbugger. I'd so like to get into the spirit of things, and embrace all thing winter solstice. It's just not in me, and increasingly so each year.
I think what I really need is a long hot Christmas in Hawaii. That would cure me up right!
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I've noticed that almost everyone I know is kind of "blah" when it comes to Christmas this year. I don't know if it's the economy or what, but most people I know haven't even begun their Christmas shopping/decorating. I did manage to get the house decorated, but there isn't a present in sight. I've just about given up on sending Christmas cards too, as I haven't even bought any!
P.S. I'm so with you on a long hot Christmas in Hawaii!
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