Monday, March 8, 2010

I Refuse to Pity Party Alone!

I'm having a pity party and you are all invited!!!

That being said - I don't want any pity comments left. I just need a place to express my downtrodden heart.

As I've expressed on many occasions here, I have a husband who is a good hermit. He would even tell you that he doesn't like people - except me. I, on the other hand, need / want / desire a little more social in my life - but because my husband doesn't wish to participate - I often forgo adventures with friends. And I fear the outcome has been that I/we have alienated ourselves from many of our friends.

That's not my pity party - this is ....

Next week is my birthday. Tuesday to be exact. It falls (and usually does) directly in the middle of spring break so although that doesn't affect me, it does affect a number of our acquaintances who are erstwhile busy with family type things.

In an extreme need for outside of the normal social (usually the hubby will take me out for dinner, and we'd be home by 7:30 and plugged back into the TV) I decided that I needed to find one couple who would go out to dinner with us. Change it up, as it were. I didn't think this would be a hard task - find one other couple in this world who also need to eat ....

I was wrong. As of this morning I have been turned down by no less that 4 couples. All with legitimate reasons - out of town - meetings .... Its the way life goes. But its just making my heart hurt so much.

Do I smell?

Do people really not like me (or my husband)?

Do I have the worlds worst timing? I can't help when I was born.

And YES - for me it is important to do something extra special ON the day. Is this so wrong? (That and I will not compromise on Birthday cake - must be Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese icing.)

Does anyone want to come and celebrate my birthday with me?


Shanel said...

ooooooooooooo I KNOW what that's like.... lack of good friends to do things with... been there a lot.... wish I could help you celebrate...I love a good party and a reason to eat and dance and laugh:)

Pearle said...

I can so relate to what you wrote, I dig the way you express yourself. I just had a Birthday and if it weren't for Facebook and my Daughter it might not have been recognized at all. Hope you have a really great one and something BIG happens that you don't plan for!

Ommmm said...

Hey don't feel so bad. You sound like a creative person, so I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a creative way to celebrate your birthday without other people. Uh....and can I have some of your carrot cake ;)

LJ Ducharme said...

Thank you kind ladies for your comments:

Shanel: lack of good friends seems to be an aging thing. Or is that just me forgetting who my friends are ....? I am getting old and all.

Pearle: Can you chat with my husband about the "something BIG"? He's not a planner, and he's not spontaneous. I get caught in the middle every time.

Ommmm: Creative is what I'll have to induce. It's all good though. I will survive. I'll blink and it'll be March the 17th and I'll wonder what all the fuss was about. And I will definitely save you a piece of carrot cake. Mmm Mmm Good!

Good Timing said...

If I lived a province over, you know I would!! I hope you can still find something nice to do on your birthday. If it makes you feel any better I have a two hour staff meeting scheduled on my birthday this month. :S Fun!! :P

p.s. Thank you for your very kind note on my last entry. It made me smile and feel warm inside. I really do appreciate it.

Becky said...

Well poop! This frustrates me because I *love* being social and would be the first at the table with a tiara for your head and a drink for your hand.

I'm single and not seeing anyone and in the same age range, so I haven't done the couple-cloister thing. I have noticed that my friends get younger, since they're more able to go out and have fun.

I'm rooting for you. Keep beating those bushes and find some b-day playmates! B

cyndilu9759 said...

I just happened onto your blog and can I relate. If I was close to you we could go out together, my husbands birthday is the 12th, we could make it a double party. I hope that you have an awesome b-day anyway.

Purple Cow said...


If you talk like you write then I don't think its people avoiding you for lack of fun...infact you seem real, honest and extremely likeable.

Sometimes these things happen. We all have responsibilities eg kids, work etc. It doesn't mean that you don't have friends because on that one particular night you can't find another couple. By the way, husbands do get in the way sometimes. I have friends whose husbands I can't stand and other friends who my husband can't stand and doing couples things with them would be disastrous.

Have you considered ditching hubby and doing a women's thingy next time?

Meanwhile, look at this as a perfect time to reconnect with hermit hubby. Whatever you do - do NOT plug the TV! Go to the theatre, have dinner, book in a hotel perhaps, do something extraordinary and ENJOY yourself.

Lin said...

I think you needed to plan earlier or be flexible. Does it have to be ON the exact day? Can it be the weekend or something? I'd ask your favorite couple when they are available to help you celebrate and go. Otherwise you just set yourself up for sad, which is not good.

I hope you birthday is nice anyway!!! I'm sure it will be.

The Bumbles said...

I think you should ask Cardio Girl to throw you a birthday party in her VIP Lounge.

LJ Ducharme said...

Good Timing: This truly is when the thought counts. I still have the work thing AND a staff meeting, but blessed am I - I like these people.

Becky: I like the idea of a tiara, but it might draw a little more attention than I'd like. I'm still a bit of an introvert, but thanks.

Purple Cow: thank you for the compliment. I don't think I'm not fun to be with, my birthday just falls on a busy time of year. I know I'm not being 'dissed'.

Lin: Yes, I could be more flexible. But I also feel that because of my job (which I love) and an less than flexible husband, that to ask for 1 day of the year isn't that asking too much. And thanks for dropping by.

Bumbles: A virtual birthday party!?! What a concept. Her lounge lizards are a special group of individuals .... but can someone bring the Carrot Cake - big enough?

Damaris said...

Oh, How I hope you find a fun couple to celebrate your special day. Wishing you some happy thoughts, and a wish that your day be a fantastic one!!! Hey, If I lived anywhere near you, I would so celebrate with you...I would even leave my kids home!!! LOL.

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