Friday, March 14, 2008

Techno-Speak - NO!!

I married a very smart man! And NOT just because he married me.

He is a graduated with his Masters in Computer Science. (Remind me some day to retell the story of my Thesis widow days). He works in the technology sector, and is very good at what he does. However, when people ask me what he does, I'm hard pressed to explain. Mostly because I don't understand it myself.

When people meet the hubby they generally comment on what a 'quiet' man he is. And in truth he is very quiet. He's not prone to letting everyone know he's entered a room. He's not one for large gatherings. He's not one to be verbose in any way.

But let me tell you - this is NOT the man I experience at home. At home I can barely get a word in edgewise. He sings. He sighs. He talks (to no one in particular) in strange voices. Normally I'd be scared, but I know this IS his way of making up for being a 'quiet' man. Often I have to remind him to use his "inside head voice".

I love him for all his qualities, and although I might wish to modify some behaviours, for the most part - I wouldn't change him.

That being said - recently he has taken to telling me all about his work. Which is an important aspect of marriage - communication. But here I find my ability to focus and give him ALL my attention a very difficult task. I've come to learn that technology (computers specifically), has a language of its own. A very confusing, big worded, unusual expressions kind of verbology all its own.

I do not understand one-wit of what he says 99% of the time.

The hubby can go on for upwards of thirty minutes in his language with barely a word or grunt of acknowledgment from. I have yet to learn when the appropriate time to nod an affirmation, his dialect is so strong. My brain begins to hurt from listening to his argot of idioms that I can hardly sit it. And any attempt to leave the room, is thwarted by him following me to continue the litany of his day.

What am I going to do? I want to be an appreciative listener.

I rarely to never speak of my own work. I just don't feel that he'd be interested, more apt he would get frustrated (not with me) at the antics of my co-workers and daily experiences. He knows my 9-5 surroundings to well. It is a community he's lived in. I, on the other hand, know his workday community not at all, and feel very separate from it. (and kinda sorta want to keep it that way.)

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and explain my lack of 'understanding'. I will not tell him that I have lost consciousness during some of his communicating with me. That would just hurt him. But I can't go on like this. I keep hoping its a faze, but it just keeps getting more intense.

If nothing else, what his talking tells me is that he is actually very happy in his job, and this is very important to me and to him. At his work he has people that know and understand what he does, because they do it too!


I should have written about "Mr. Floaty" the mascot for Victoria's "People Opposed to Outfall Pollution" (P.O.O.P.) . Maybe next time.

Happy Friday people!!! It's my birthday weekend, I'm sure I'll have loads to share.


linds said...

I can relate to you totally. When Ben talks about work with oil field equipment, I don't understand a lot about it either. Maybe we will eventually atart to learn something! I am glad you enjoyed the diaper cake and it sure was bright and sunny that day, that is why the pictures were so nice and bright. But don't worry, it is snowing again!!

Carolyn said...

This entry made me laugh out loud. My husband is a diesel mechanic. AND a talker. I rarely know what he's talking about. But I must admit in the 18 years we've been married, I've picked up a thing or two. More than once I've overheard someone talking about a problem with their vehicle and suggested what might be wrong with it...and been right!
Hang in there. "They" say communication is so important in a marriage. I guess communication doesn't really require us to understand what our men are talking about! ;o)