Night Vision

In juxtaposition to last week - I can't get warm this week. My fingers are like little icicles. Thank heavens when it comes to typing they have deeply ingrained memory and automatically reach for the needed keys.

I only wish that 'deeply ingrained memory' reached out into the late hours of the night, once the lights are off and the eye lids closed. It's at that precious time of day when my brain does the best writing, only without the cohesiveness to write down said brilliance for blogdom on tangible paper with tangible pen. Alas, these thoughts are lost to me come the light of day.

Seriously folks, I come up with the best prose when I'm least able to attend to them. Last night while I was trying to calm the brain and fall asleep I was mentally writing a future blog entry about my lesser spoken of cat "Digit". The composition was coming together for me in a way that it never does during the light of day, and I was not about to turn on the light to jot down ideas that would make no sense to me in the morning. I even said as much to my inner self as I lay there.

I do that alot, have conversations with my inner self, and sometimes the words reach to my out ears - and anyone withing hearing range. Not always a good move.

I digress .....

I think I may have to invest in a little recording device, so that I can just reach over to my bedside table, click the "on" button and blather away my thoughts, aspirations, and grocery lists. Who knows? I could become the next great Canadian Poet laureate!

Return to ..... Normal?

Balance has been restored to the universe - the heat wave has broken (temperature is around 19C / 66F) and I've returned to work after 10 days off.

Against my better judgment I got out of bed this morning. Let me tell you - it was difficult. I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up several times in fact. Between one of our cats wanting to cuddle (kneading with claws, and wet nose to my neck), and the husband less than gentle breathing - I kept waking up. And each time I woke up I kept thinking about having to come back to work today.

No, it wasn't a fun night at all. Tonight will be different. A guarantee (and a sleeping pill) I can assure you.

My 10 days off were lovely actually. Heat wave aside - it was a nice time to be off. I was able to get away for a couple of days - a change is almost always as good as a rest. And when I returned home I got to pretend camp and sleep on our back deck. The only thing missing was a camp fire. But with an all open fire ban on, I settled for bringing a lamp outside to read by. Lovely, simply lovely. The raccoons didn't even give me a double look.

I tried to get creative during the day to find ways to stay cool, but not spend money (or at least as little as possible). My first plan of action was to take the bus to the mall. But darned if most of the stores in that mall don't have sales on!! I generally can't pass up on a "Sale". Thankfully, I found nothing on sale that was worth my time. I did, however, purchase a new Wii Game (Wii Resort).... I was on holiday's. I had to live a little! Didn't I?

So I am sorry to report I have no wild stories to thrill and entertain you by. Maybe now that I'm back to work strangers will pass my way and I shall share those experiences with you.

Until then ..... keep blogging little ones.

Nuff' Said

Brief hiatus in Vancouver over.

Can't blog.

Too Hot!

Heat Wave - 33C (91F)

Still on holidays.

House is over 25C (80F) at night.

No Air Conditioning.

Must seek relief!

Good friends, Good conversations

It never ceases to amaze me how good life can look after one gets a full 8 hour nights sleep. I feel better than I have in weeks.

That compounded by a most excellent conversation with a friend last night helped me to realize I'm not crazy, I'm just perimenopausal. My friend is fully menopausal, but as we spoke and shared our experiences I could basically take her story, cut out her and husbands names and insert my own (and hubbies). I felt comforted to know I wasn't alone. AND the fact that husbands just can't understand the hormone battle the rages within us women.

Unfortunately - the symptoms are still very present, but I know to stop looking for the men in white who want to give me a new jacket that does up in the back.

Now .... if I can only explain all this to my husband without getting the eye roll.

It's Friday People - Rejoice!

It's Friday and I have next week off work. Although I'm still working through the same issues (mentioned in my last post) I plan on heading over the the Mainland on Sunday afternoon. It will be good to get away, and its just for 2 nights.

One of the disadvantages of 'where' I live is its attached to, and belongs to, where I work. So even doing something as seemingly relaxing as sitting out on our back deck - I look into my works parking lot. I never really get a break from the place.

The hubby is not on holiday's next week, so any adventuring I'll be doing will be on my own. Normally I'm all over that, but the way I've been feeling lately make the thought of doing fun things alone - a little lonely. And I don't just want to stick around the house.

I'll figure it all out. Who knows, maybe I'll go on a mad shopping spree that keeps me in the air-conditioned malls all week. Why not? There's food, there's bathrooms, there's entertainment, there's people ..... we'll see. But don't get all excited for me or anything. I probably won't get up to much to blog about.

Cheers,
LJ

Not in a Good Place

I deleted yesterdays post. I've never done that before, but the post was written from an over-tired, over-heated, over-bitchy place. Not a good place.

Everything and everyone is just plain bugging me these days. Please pray for my husband, he's getting the brunt of it. Poor man.

I can't really figure out whats going on with me. Although I have a sneaky suspicion it has something to do with weaning myself off my anti-depressants AND menopause (or pre-menopause). A cocktail mix that is not recommended.

I tried to talk to my hubby about it last night, but somehow the whole conversation turned and revolved around him. And he NEVER tells me whats going on in his world, so I let him talk. However, this left me feeling somewhat unfinished and unresolved.

I wanted to tell him that I'd had an anxiety attack yesterday. I'm planning on going over to visit his sister on the mainland next week for two days, and I suddenly felt extremely anxious about going and leaving him. Furthermore, upon realizing that is was an anxiety attack - that I'd had one a couple of weeks ago, but didn't recognize it at the time.

I'm not prone to having them, so they are beginning to scare me a little. Which sounds kind of weird that you would get scared for being anxious ... isn't that just compounding the issue? All that to say that I don't know where all this is coming from. There are simply too many factors at play here. Is it withdrawals from my anti-depressants? Is it the beginnings of menopause? Is it the heat? Is it lack of rest? So many factors.

The bottom line is that I don't like me much these days, and I don't like the edgy feelings I'm living with. What do I do with them, and how do I stop hurting the people I love?

Can anyone relate?

Sucking the Fun Out of Summer

Here on the island we have a local health authority (acronym known as VIHA). They are often known to post health information (obviously!) and warnings regarding a variety of things surrounding your health. Recently (although I now can’t find the specific article) they have pronounced roasting marshmallows over your campfire as unhealthy and unsafe.

I stumbled on to this story by means of reading the “letters to the Editor” on our local newspapers website. The readers – much like myself – initially thought that VIHA were having one over on all of us. “Oh, lets have fun, and see if we can pull the wool over some yocal’s eyes!”

But no, their article is completely upfront and spoken in earnest.

VIHA suggests that IF you are going to roast marshmallows this summer, that you should: 1) thoroughly sanitize your hands before touching any food item (ok, somewhat legit’). 2) Take your roasting stick and quickly thrusting the twig in the fire and removing carbon from the twig with a clean tissue. And 3) they finally suggest that once roasted, if the marshmallow has flames coming out of it, it’s too hot to eat (DOH!).

In a day and age where we take more precautions in life than ever before – where do we ever get a chance to learn from our mistakes? I’m not suggesting we rush out there and throw flaming marshmallows at people, but a little common sense goes a long way.

Did eating that worm when I was 6 do permanent damage to me? Did NOT sanitizing my hands and or my marshmallow stick (or wiener stick for that matter) put me one step closer to the grave? If that be the case I should have died – or worse – many years ago. But instead, I got to be a kid and learn that dirt doesn’t taste that good. That touching a burning marshmallow with my hands or my lips – may burn me.

Is it just me, or are there certain people out there who are just looking for ways to suck the fun out of fun??

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And on a completely different side note: Thank you to all who commented on my last entry. I terribly thrilled that almost all my my readers actually responded.